While I was going to write this blog in Spanish, I decided ultimately that I could not articulate my words well enough to express all that I am feeling in a language other than my own. First of all, I think it is important to include a preface, so that the reader can identify more with what I am saying, because they will see my train of thought, and not just the outcome. This trip, in theory was very simple. It was a group of dedicated students traveling to another country to try to help in some small way, while also developing their meager spanish skills (I am of course referring to myself when I speak of the level of fluency in spanish). What one doesn´t realize, is that real life is actually a lot more difficult to understand, when actually experiencing it. Although I recognized that I would participate in this experience, while in the states, I did not realize the dedication required of me, and the multitude of emotions that I would feel during this trip.
Although we are only in the first week of our stay here in Nicaragua, I have seen such beautiful things. I have seen teachers, who despite their overcrowded classrooms, dirty classrooms (for lack of what we call a custodian), and no running water, continue on day by day, making a difference in children´s lives. I have seen families open up their homes to strange people, who do not share their cultural beliefs, and in some cases do not speak a common language. I have seen people on the bus, despite the lack of space crowd in to fit another passenger, although there are already two people sitting in the seat.
Despite the exultation I have felt from seeing the good in people, I have also had some very low moments. Blind, one-eyed men who rely on the generosity of others; others who already lack the resources to make ends meet, but contribute none-the-less. Water that runs blue from the detergent that was used to clean clothes, because people lack the amazing appliances called ¨washer and dryer¨--which solves two problems in one, cleaning our clothes and clearing our conscious of the damage we are doing to the earth (by emiting CFC´s--unseen toxic gases).
I do not mean to make anyone uncomfortable by what I say, but I speak the truth. I want to share my feelings with others in attempt to change the present into a better future. We can no longer avoid the solving the problem, because it makes us uncomfortable to think of other´s suffering, because in the end, they are suffering whether or not you are thinking of them.
This is my experience, an opening of consciousness...and for that I am very grateful. I hope to bring ESPERANZA to the future, not only of our country, but to the world.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
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I wanted to share an experience I had too when I was walking in the plaza. I dropped a 20 cordoba bill on the ground and a little boy was walking by. He was about 7 years old in the middle of the afternoon. He looked about the same age as the children at school. He picked it up before I could, and he looked up at me and handed it to me. In his other hand he had his shoeshine box. His small hand in mine, his honesty, his hunger for survival and my hunger for humanity in a brief moment in time will be a memory I will keep forever. Will he remember me? Will the children at the school remember me someday?
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